You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
