a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
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