i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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