happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Randomize
