They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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