Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
