She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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