At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
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