Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
