I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
no you cant smoke seaweed
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
