her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Randomize
