Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
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