You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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