i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Dignity is for republicans.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
