let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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