I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
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