Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?