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• (347): View more from New York

  she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.

  (1-347): View more from New York

  ofcourse you didnt.

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• (937): View more from Ohio

  Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.

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• (214): View more from Texas

  Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.

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• 

  Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (313): View more from Michigan

  I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.

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• (775): View more from Nevada

  Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends

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• (443): View more from Maryland

  My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.

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• 

  19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced

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• (336): View more from North Carolina

  Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?

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• (856): View more from New Jersey

  I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.

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• (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick

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• (407): View more from Florida

  Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral

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