i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
