some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
