Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
