You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
