The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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