I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Randomize
