where am i from again
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Randomize
