Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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