I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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