i permit you to call me
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
two words...techno handjob
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Randomize
