so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
