Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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