i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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