Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
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