if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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