i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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