wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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