We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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