Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize
