I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
