Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
