This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
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