billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
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All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I would ride that face into the sunset
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
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