That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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