And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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