You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
