imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
