Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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