I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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