I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize