I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize