Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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