New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
