I didn't shave. On purpose
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
