community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
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