So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
