But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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