I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Floor bacon is actually really good
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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