i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
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