In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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