Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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