he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
