:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Randomize
