There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
