If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
