I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
