remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize