I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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