There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Randomize
