Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
where are my eyebrows?
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