party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
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