Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
